Courtesy of: SnapKnot
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Just my views
So, I’ve been thinking about writing on this for a while. I have often
put it off with an “It’s my beliefs, why do I have to explain them?” Well,
because I’ve decided I want to. I know this is going to piss some folks off and
that’s ok. This isn’t about you, it’s about me, because in my world, it’s
always about me ;) I’ve included some links and such at the end. Read if you
want, or don’t, your choice.
As most of you know, my sons have been a part of Scouting since they
were each in the first grade and now they are Boy Scouts. I heart Scouts.
Seriously, I love what they teach, self-reliance, leadership, life skills, PLUS
they randomly take my children away for a week or weekend for camp so dad and I
can have “let’s pretend we’re not parents” time *wink-wink, nudge-nudge* My
boys have really enjoyed Scouts and the socialization of it. Hubby and I have
both been leaders within the Cub Scout pack and are committee members still.
Now, it’s pretty well known that the Boy Scouts of America (herein
known as BSA, cause I’m not typing the full name every single time, I’m too
lazy for that) have recently undergone some changes regarding membership, most
specifically, whether or not to allow openly gay youth to join and openly gay
adults to be leaders. Well, a positive step was made and as of January 2014,
openly gay youth can join (YAY!!) http://www.scouting.org/sitecore/content/MembershipStandards/Resolution/Resolution.aspx
but unfortunately, openly gay adults cannot serve as leaders. That’s another step the BSA has to come to,
but we need to keep encouraging the BSA to realize they have so many people
with so much to bring to Scouts if they just allow it.
UPDATE: IT PASSED!! http://www.scouting.org/sitecore/content/MembershipStandards/Resolution/results.aspx
UPDATE: IT PASSED!! http://www.scouting.org/sitecore/content/MembershipStandards/Resolution/results.aspx
I talked to my sons when this topic was starting to get really heated
and asked them what they thought, since it would directly affect them, not me.
I asked them if they thought openly gay boys and adults should be allowed in
Scouts. They said the exact same thing “Why not?” That’s a damn good question,
“Why not?” I see nothing in the Scout Law or Scout Oath (links and other at the
end of this rant) that OUTRIGHT says to discriminate against openly gay people.
I know there are a lot of people who are going “It says ‘reverent toward God’
and ‘Duty to God’!” Yup, you’re right folks, it does. But these duties and the
reverence are based upon the Scout's religious beliefs, not mine or yours
(unless they are the same as said Scout). I can hear you now, “It also says
‘morally straight’!” Again, you’re right. Based upon who’s morals? What does
moral mean? Simply put, it means a ‘right behavior’. What we seem to forget is
in some areas people agree on what’s right and wrong and in other areas people
differ. Who’s way is the right way? Unfortunately, there are those who believe
that their way is the only way. Well, it’s not. I don’t say this to be incendiary,
just honest. Your way just might not be my way and vice versa. I’m not saying
my way is any better…for you, but it is better for me.
I know other people are thinking about pedophiles/hebephiles, you know,
the people who are attracted to pre/pubescent children. Well did you know there
are pedophiles and hebephiles who DO NOT ACT upon those feelings? Ok, what about
child molesters? Well, are people aware that they are different from pedophiles
and hebephiles? They are different. Child sexual abuse is the actual act. Child
molesters are the people who actually act upon the drive. I could give you all
kinds of reasons why they do it, but you go do the research, there’s a
multitude of reasons and I don’t feel like typing that much. The BSA got smart,
finally, and instituted two-deep leadership and one-on-one interaction between
Scouts and leaders (non-family of course) is prohibited. This protects the boys
AND the leaders.
Now, let’s get to the sex factor of it. Let me start by saying one
thing. Boy Scouts is made up of TEENAGED boys. You really want to try and
convince me they aren’t thinking about sex already? HA! “But Anne, letting
openly gay boys into Scouts will put my child into a position where the gay boy
may hit on my son.” Yeah, ‘cause that can’t happen anywhere else, you know,
like school, grocery store, parties. No
matter what the situation it all comes down to the morals you believe in that
as a parent, you instill in your child AND your own child’s views on the
matter. I’ve noticed that when it comes to kids, they speak their mind. Yes,
peer pressure is still there, but it’s everywhere *sad face* not just in Scouts
or schools. “They are going to make my child gay, I just know it.” It’s a sad
fact that people really belief sexual orientation is a choice. I say look into
your past and tell me the moment you DECIDED you are straight. I can’t tell you
when I decided I like guys, I’ve just always been that way. You know, from what
I understand, it’s pretty much that way for gays too, they’ve just always been
that way. I’m not even going to go into normal sexual experimentation with
teenagers, no matter their sexual orientation.
“What about the politics of it?” Welcome to America where politics are
everywhere!! You cannot avoid them! It’s both a blessing and a bane in this
country (my beliefs, not endorsed by any particular politician). Can’t escape
them, no matter where you go.
The distraction factor!! This will distract our kids from what they
need to be doing at Scouts. Does it distract them at school? Kids in this time
are more exposed to homosexuality than we were. It was an unknown and we didn’t
fully understand then, but even back then, there were those of us who just didn’t
care who people were sexually attracted to, we were just more interested in who
was sleeping with who (gossip!!). Now, more kids feel that way.
Something else that needs to be thought about. Scouts are losing leaders. Well, not necessarily losing, but they sure aren't gaining many. Why do we have to judge a person’s ability on who their bed partner is? We don’t with heterosexuals. Scouts need capable adults to be leaders and GUIDE our boys (and girls in Venture Scouts). Why are they eliminating a person who could bring so much to Scouts that has NOTHING to do with sexuality? Knot tying has nothing to do with sex (in Scouts, your personal life is your business).
“Oh Anne, you’re just saying this because you’re a Social Worker.” Um,
nope. I’m a Social Worker because this reflects how I feel. I’m not a perfect
person, not a perfect parent, and not a perfect wife, but that’s ok, because I
am a pretty rockin’ person, a good parent, and an awesome wife (just ask my
husband, he’ll agree). I try hard to be a good parent, wife, friend and person.
I accept your beliefs as that, your beliefs and that’s cool with me. You don’t
have to accept or like mine, that’s cool with me too, ‘cause I’m pretty
comfortable with them, I don’t need your acceptance or approval. Unfortunately,
we live in a world where people are judged on their beliefs instead of their
actions. I try to act in a way that will not hurt others, but I’m probably not always
successful at that.
I still love Boy Scouts, but I don’t depend on them to teach my child
what to believe, that’s the responsibility of their dad and I and we take that
seriously. We have tried to teach them to be responsible human beings, to know
people for themselves, not their beliefs. To “do unto others as they’d have
done onto them.” To find their own beliefs and stand by them, so long as they
do not hurt others. I look at my boys and think we’ve been pretty damn
successful in that. They’re good kids and we’re proud of them.
Links:
The Meaning of the Boy Scout Law
Ø
A Scout is Trustworthy.
o
A Scout tells the truth. He is honest, and he
keeps his promises. People can depend on him.
Ø
A Scout is Loyal.
o
A Scout is true to his family, friends, Scout
leaders, school, and nation.
Ø
A Scout is Helpful.
o
A Scout cares about other people. He willingly
volunteers to help others without expecting payment or reward.
Ø
A Scout is Friendly.
o
A Scout is a friend to all. He is a brother to
other Scouts. He offers his friendship to people of all races and nations, and
respects them even if their beliefs and customs are different from his own.
Ø
A Scout is Courteous.
o
A Scout is polite to everyone regardless of age
or position. He knows that using good manners makes it easier for people to get
along.
Ø
A Scout is Kind.
o
A Scout knows there is strength in being gentle.
He treats others as he wants to be treated. Without good reason, he does not
harm or kill any living thing.
Ø
A Scout is Obedient.
o
A Scout follows the rules of his family, school,
and troop. He obeys the laws of his community and country. If he thinks these
rules and laws are unfair, he tries to have them changed in an orderly manner
rather than disobeying them.
Ø
A Scout is Cheerful.
o
A Scout looks for the bright side of life. He
cheerfully does tasks that come his way. He tries to make others happy.
Ø
A Scout is Thrifty.
o
A Scout works to pay his own way and to help
others. He saves for the future. He protects and conserves natural resources.
He carefully uses time and property.
Ø
A Scout is Brave.
o
A Scout can face danger although he is afraid.
He has the courage to stand for what he thinks is right even if others laugh at
him or threaten him.
Ø
A Scout is Clean.
o
A Scout keeps his body and mind fit and clean.
He chooses the company of those who live by high standards. He helps keep his
home and community clean.
Ø
A Scout is Reverent.
o
A Scout is reverent toward God. He is faithful
in his religious duties. He respects the beliefs of others.
The
Meaning of the Boy Scout Oath
Before you pledge yourself to any oath or promise, you must know what
it means. The paragraphs that follow will help you understand the meaning of
the Scout Oath.
On my honor . . .
By giving your word, you are promising to be guided by the ideals of
the Scout Oath.
. . . I will do my best . . .
Try hard to live up to the points of the Scout Oath. Measure your
achievements against your own high standards and don't be influenced by peer
pressure or what other people do.
. . . To do my duty to God . . .
Your family and religious leaders teach you about God and the ways you
can serve. You do your duty to God by following the wisdom of those teachings
every day and by respecting and defending the rights of others to practice
their own beliefs.
. . . and my country . . .
Help keep the United States a strong and fair nation by learning about
our system of government and your responsibilities as a citizen and future
voter.
America is made up of countless families and communities. When you work
to improve your community and your home, you are serving your country. Natural
resources are another important part of America's heritage worthy of your
efforts to understand, protect, and use wisely. What you do can make a real
difference.
. . . and to obey the Scout Law; . . .
The twelve points of the Scout Law are guidelines that can lead you
toward wise choices. When you obey the Scout Law, other people will respect you
for the way you live, and you will respect yourself.
. . . To help other people at all times; . . .
There are many people who need you. Your cheerful smile and helping
hand will ease the burden of many who need assistance. By helping out whenever
possible, you are doing your part to make this a better world.
. . . To keep myself physically strong, . . .
Take care of your body so that it will serve you well for an entire
lifetime. That means eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, and
exercising regularly to build strength and endurance. it also means avoiding
harmful drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and anything else that can harm your health.
. . . mentally awake, . . .
Develop your mind both in the classroom and outside of school. Be
curious about everything around you, and work hard to make the most of your
abilities. With an inquiring attitude and the willingness to ask questions, you
can learn much about the exciting world around you and your role in it.
. . . and morally straight.
To be a person of strong character, your relationships with others
should be honest and open. You should respect and defend the rights of all
people. Be clean in your speech and actions, and remain faithful in your
religious beliefs. The values you practice as a Scout will help you shape a
life of virtue and self-reliance.
Note that the Boy Scout Oath has traditionally been considered to have
three promises. Those three promises are delineated by the semicolons in
the Oath, which divide it into three clauses. The three promises of the
Scout Oath are, therefore:
Duty to God and country,
Duty to other people, and
Duty to self
DUTY TO GOD AND COUNTRY: Your FAMILY and religious leaders teach
you to know and serve God. By following these teachings, you do your duty to
God.
Men and women of the past worked to make America great, and many gave
their lives for their country. By being a good family member and a good
citizen, by working for your country's good and obeying its laws, you do your
duty to your country. Obeying the Scout Law means living by its 12 points.
DUTY TO OTHER PEOPLE: Many people need help. A cheery smile and a
helping hand make life easier for others. By doing a Good Turn daily and
helping when you're needed, you prove yourself a Scout and do your part to make
this a better world.
DUTY TO SELF: Keeping yourself physically strong means taking
care of your body. Eat the right foods and build your strength. Staying
mentally awake means learn all you can, be curious, and ask questions.
Being morally straight means to live your life with honesty, to be
clean in your speech and actions, and to be a person of strong character.
Scouting is truly a melting pot. Scouts come from all walks of life,
all types of family units, faiths, and racial and ethnic groups. The BSA
respects the rights of people and groups who hold values that differ from those
encompassed in the Scout Oath and Law, and aims to allow youth to live and
learn as children and enjoy Scouting without immersing them in the politics of
the day.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Grief for a friend
I sit here at work thinking that I should be doing stuff, but forget that it's Friday! I find my thoughts keep turning to a true friend of my heart and the pain she is going through right now. She told me yesterday that her son had hit a deer while riding his motorcycle, without his helmet, and that today they were going to take him off life support. I don't know if they did that or not, but I still keep going back to what if it were my child? What if it were me...
I'm back at this, 8 hours after she told me they took him off at noon and she was waiting on his body to come home. I don't know how to help her, I don't know what to say. I know I was trained for this in school, but dammit, that was to help strangers. How do I use my education for friends? I want to hug this woman, but I know she would deck me if I did. I looked at her this afternoon and noticed she had shrunk. I know it's the grief, she's taking it inside her, folding in on herself and that scares me. If she doesn't grieve, if she just tucks it down in and attempts to be strong "for everyone else" like I think she will, what will happen to her? Yes, I'm being selfish, I don't want to see anything happen to this woman, she is too important to me, to so many people in so many ways.
I grieve for her, for what she's lost. I grieve for me, because I know this will change her, like nothing else she has endured has, and I know the person I admire will still be there...inside her, somewhere.
I love you, you crazy old lady. I may never say this to your face (because I know how it makes you feel) but I hope to show you it in my actions.
I'm back at this, 8 hours after she told me they took him off at noon and she was waiting on his body to come home. I don't know how to help her, I don't know what to say. I know I was trained for this in school, but dammit, that was to help strangers. How do I use my education for friends? I want to hug this woman, but I know she would deck me if I did. I looked at her this afternoon and noticed she had shrunk. I know it's the grief, she's taking it inside her, folding in on herself and that scares me. If she doesn't grieve, if she just tucks it down in and attempts to be strong "for everyone else" like I think she will, what will happen to her? Yes, I'm being selfish, I don't want to see anything happen to this woman, she is too important to me, to so many people in so many ways.
I grieve for her, for what she's lost. I grieve for me, because I know this will change her, like nothing else she has endured has, and I know the person I admire will still be there...inside her, somewhere.
I love you, you crazy old lady. I may never say this to your face (because I know how it makes you feel) but I hope to show you it in my actions.
Monday, July 13, 2009
My trip to NYC
This blog details the trip my hubby and I took to NYC last month. I won the trip through www.ruelala.com. I love the website and all the goodies they have for sale. They have great deals, but unfortunately, I don't always have the wallet to go with it :(
Fair warning, this is massively long!
Let’s start this at the beginning, which, by the way, I’ve often found it a convenient place to start a story. We left out of Defiance about 3 a.m. Tuesday morning. Not a lot of traffic on 24 at that time, which is nice, but of course we got the one semi that refused to pass and rode our ass for a while there. We get about 5 miles away from the 295 turnoff, just toolin’ along, I just found a good radio station, Joe’s cussing out the afore mentioned semi and as we round a curve, there’s something in the middle of the lane…it’s a big doe, a dead one, and by the time we realized it, we couldn’t miss it. So yes, we hit a dead deer, which did something to my muffler, and now it’s LOUD! Get to the airport without any more random dead animals lying in the road.
After waiting for the security checkpoint to open, which at Toledo, does not happen until 5 a.m., we get through without too much problem, little trouble with my laptop bag (which, in actuality is just a tote bag) but nothing major. We have a nice quick flight from Toledo to Detroit…and I mean quick. We got in the air (it constantly amazes me just how religious I become during take off in a plane); the attendant gave us our cookies and water, cleaned up and said we were descending into Detroit. Wait, what? I didn’t even get to open my book! Once in Detroit, we headed over to the other terminal to the other gate. We were taking those walking escalators (or whatever they’re called) and I wasn’t paying attention, got to the end and just about landed flat on my face. Joe was laughing at me along with a few other people. Found our gate, and then found the restaurant we could smoke. Hung out there had some coffee and cigs. Flight to New York was uneventful, nothing spectacular.
Got into LaGuardia, got our luggage and then came the joy of figuring out how we were going to get to the hotel. I will admit, I was checking out all the drivers carrying signs with people’s names on them in the hopes of maybe the publicist ordered one, but no. Oh well, we head outside towards the taxi stand and a guy approaches us saying he’ll take us in his limo for $45 flat, tolls included. We just said ‘k, cause it was easier. He took us to the limo, started it up and said he’d be back in like five minutes. He was, with a family from Ft. Lauderdale. They were nice people and fun to talk with, so I ended up missing the sights during the ride into Manhattan. Got to the hotel, got out in the back (or maybe it’s the front, it’s where the doorman was anyhow) and went inside. Big hallway, only a bellboy/security desk there that confused me a bit. We had to take the elevator up 22 stories to the hotel. The lobby was nice, had a bar in it and the breakfast area. When we checked in, the guy at the desk, (the awesome Will) said we needed a credit card for deposit on incidentals. A $200 deposit. $200, really? What the hell am I gonna spend $200 on in the hotel in two days? So, I hand him my debit card, sign the paperwork, and we head up to the room. As soon as we walk in, the phone is ringing. It’s Will; my debit card wouldn’t go through. Crap. We go down to the front desk and try my other debit card; it’s a no-go, as my boss hadn’t deposited my check yet. Shit. I was tired and starting to worry. Well, the awesome Will talks to his general manager and gets him to agree to hang on to the $500 AmEx gift card until there’s money in my account. Needless to say, a few frantic phone calls later and there was the money. While we waited, we went to the three story McDonald’s and grabbed a bite of lunch. Yes, three stories and LOUD music playing. (I cannot believe there was a time I liked my music louder than that. Um, when did I get old?)
Joe decided to hang out at the hotel and take a nap while I was gone for my hair appointment at 3:00 pm. I had the doorman get me a taxi, gave the guy the address and he got me to the street and the right block but he couldn’t find the storefront. Turns out the salon was upstairs. I go up, tell the man at the desk my name and he tells me to put a gown on. So I put on a polyester gown that I have come to realize I am allergic too (everywhere it touched bare skin, I rashed out.) I go back to the desk and he says he cannot find my reservation. I gave him my printout from my email and he tells me not to worry, I’ll get my shampoo, cut and blowout and shows me to a seat to wait. While I’m waiting, I look around and notice there are at least 25 chairs and almost all of them are full. Finally the guy comes back (I think it was Oscar himself, but who the hell knows) and says they found my reservation and Maria will be doing my hair. They seat me in a chair; she comes over and looks over my hair. After being properly horrified with my hair, she sends me off to get it shampooed. That was the best part! The woman who did it almost put me to sleep, it felt so wonderful. Well, Maria’s clipping away at my hair and we chatted (she’s a sweetheart), but she was upset they did not include coloring in my prize pack. She asked me if I would be willing to pay a little extra to get it colored. I asked how much a little extra is, she said “A little over $200.” I laughed and said “No.” Yeah, I have $200 to drop on hair color. Hell, I had a coupon in my purse for a free thing of Revlon color and we were right down the block from Walgreen’s if I wanted it colored that badly. I didn’t. After she cut my hair, she decided she’d blow it dry straight ‘for something a little different.’ I told her to knock herself out, what I didn’t tell her was almost every stylist hates curly hair and wants to straighten my hair when I get it done, “for something a little different.” When she got all done, I thanked her and got the hell outta dodge. Got outside, with my rapidly going back to curly hair, and was totally intimidated by everything. I had no idea how to get a cab, so I called Joe and whined to him for the next five blocks. I end up at the Plaza hotel and found a cab. I asked the driver if he’d take me back to my hotel. Dude looks at me and says, “The traffic’s already bad.” All I could say was, “Is that a no then?” He told me to get in and took me back to the hotel. May I just say everything they say and show on TV, movies, etc does NOT live up to just how scary it is to ride in a NYC cab?
Got back to the hotel and Joe said he talked to the doorman who recommend a reasonably priced place for supper. We headed out trying to find it and were having no luck, so we asked a cop who pretty much said, “How the hell do I know? Go away freakin’ tourists.” Finally found the diner and a reasonably priced dinner there is $70! But the food was great and there was a ton of it! Plus the house beer rocked. Spent the rest of the evening wandering around Times Square. We went to the Toys ‘R Us, gigantic Hershey’s Store, M-n-M World, 3 stories Walgreen’s, and various other stores. As we were headed back to the hotel, we saw a bunch of people and cameras in the middle of Times Square and tons of people standing around watching. I asked someone what was going on and she said they were filming scenes from a Tina Fey movie. So, we got to say we watched them film a Hollywood movie… kinda, we couldn’t really see anything. We were back to the hotel and in bed by 10:30. I remember thinking I’ll never fall asleep that early. Next thing I know, it was 6:55 am, lol.
Wednesday was nice. Fortunately, the breakfast buffet was included in our room, otherwise it would’ve cost us $52 to eat it, and it was nothing spectacular, you’re basic hot breakfast. My appointment with the stylist was schedule for 1:00 pm, so we decided to start walking and check things out. We went down to Grand Central (after stopping at a Sephora store where I got a new tube of Stila mascara and an eye shadow quad. I love Stila makeup!) and it was cool! We found the market and got some yummy looking focaccia bread and some decadent desserts (you know, the kind that puts 10 lbs. on you when you only look at it). We wandered on around the expensive area there and window-shopped. Stopped at this fabulous little diner for lunch (it was much more reasonably priced than the one the night before). Then it was time for the stylist.
We head off to The Avenue where I’m to meet with Jenn Falik. Ok, for those of you that don’t know, The Avenue is a plus sized clothing store, so it should’ve been easy for me to pick out Jenn, she’s thin. I see two women waiting by the front door and they ask me if I’m me. I admit to it and it turns out it was Jenn and her assistant (who’s name I cannot remember, I’m so sorry.) who asked me basically what I like, what I wear, and what I need. Then I became overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, they were just grabbing clothing and saying “We’ll pair this with that and that with this.” I was just nodding my head going “You bring it to the dressing room and I’ll try it on.” I tried on, what seemed to me, like 20,000 pieces of clothing, but those who know me know I don’t often try clothing on (which bites me in the ass sometimes). When all was said and done, I walked out of there with $364 worth of clothing. Now Jenn and her assistant were two of the nicest people I have met, funny as all get out and so down to earth. I really enjoyed my time with them. After we were done at the store, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for dinner at STK. Once we got back to the hotel, I started showing Joe the clothes and he asked me “Ok, now that you got it, what are you actually going to wear?” Ooooh, damn good question. So I looked through it all and spent time thinking to myself whether or not I would really wear some of the things I got. I ended up taking back the flowered shirt in the pics, the tank tops (spaghetti straps and no built in bra), both shoes (I liked the black ones, but there was an elastic strap across the ankle that just didn’t fit in with the patent leather of the rest of the shoe), a dress (it was ok, looked fine, but not spectacular… I kept the spectacular one) and a couple of other things. When I took them back, I ended up picking up a couple of tank tops. I did keep the most comfortable capris (denim and knit) and some cute tops.
Went back to the hotel and got around for dinner. Now, for any of you reading this who don’t want to know about my underwear, stop reading now, I’ll let you know when it’s ok to read again. I decided to wear the dress I got at the store that day, not the one I had bought just for NY. I had brought along my corset and matching panty set, put it on early to adjust to the stays in the corset, and really liked how it looked but dear god, those stays liked to kill me by the end of the night. Ok, done talking about my undies ;) Wore my sexy heels I bought for the trip…quickly wished I had worn the ones I got at The Avenue. By the time we got to the Meatpacking District, my feet hurt. Plus we got there early so we could walk around. I wanted to cry they hurt so badly. I could only take steps about this long. We ended up walking four blocks until we found a drugstore where I could pick up a pair of flip-flops and I hate flip-flops! We made it back to the restaurant, I shoved my flip-flops in my clutch, and put my heels back on, that was fun considering my feet had swollen. We go in and are seated at this small table in a rounded booth. While we are looking at the menu, I order some water to drink and am confounded by the question “Sparkling, still or tap water?” Choices for water? Damn! I choose still and they bring us a bottle of Fiji water, which cracked me up. Joe ordered a glass of cabernet sauvignon, ‘lil big macs”, and a steak (which he asked to be done extremely well and they came out pink), creamy Yukon potatoes (they were creamy to the point of soup with butter just pooling in them) and sweet corn pudding (corn casserole). He didn’t like the l’il big macs, wagyu beef done medium, I thought they rocked. He liked everything else. I got a Nojito (can’t taste the alcohol…they’re dangerous) hearts of romaine, that cracked me up, it was five or six whole romaine leaves with a little thing of dressing in each corner, shaved parmesan cheese on it and four croutons. $13 and I gotta cut up my own lettuce, lol. I also got Shrimp Rice Krispies that snap, crackled, and popped when they poured the bisque over the shrimp and rice, but the shrimp was so strong you couldn’t taste anything for the smell. I also got a steak (I don’t mind mine being pink) mac & cheese… yum! and parmesan truffle fries, which I could live on for the rest of my life. The food was so good, but so rich, we couldn’t eat all that was on our plates, it was just too much. The poor waitress kept checking on us; asking if everything was ok and we’re like “Yeah, it’s great!” She ends up bringing us each a glass of champagne and said “STK wanted to give it to us.” We sure as hell didn’t turn it down. I ordered a cup of coffee and Joe got another glass of wine to go with our desserts. As we’re sitting there it struck me why she gave us the free champagne, she thought we didn’t like the food. I leaned over to Joe and told him that’s why. I said the waitress was freaking out wondering why the fat chick ain’t eating. We were wondering how we were gonna spend $300 on dinner, it ended up coming to $264 and we told the waitress to keep the rest of the money on the gift card as her tip. STK was a nice restaurant, but it’s definitely a place to see and be seen, as it’s not conducive to conversation. The music was so loud and there were so many other customers you just couldn’t hear yourself think. I was having fun people watching anyhow, especially the double mint twins who sat at a booth across from us and I swear if the one had sneezed, her little dress would’ve popped up and down at the same time. After supper, I went to the bathroom, changed back into my flip-flops and we caught a cab back to the hotel. We changed and wandered Times Square for a while and I bought myself a “designer” bag off a street corner, lol. Went back to the hotel and went to bed.
Thursday, our last day in NYC. Thank god. We got up had breakfast, returned the clothes and the heavens decided to open up. We ran across the street and got some umbrellas, t-shirts for the boys, and random other souvenirs for family. Walked back to the hotel and got thoroughly drenched in the process. I was wearing a pair of my new denim capris which the dye hadn’t set, so went I went potty back at the hotel, my thighs were blue, lol. We packed up the suitcase, left it with the hotel while we grabbed some lunch at McDonald’s again, and wandered a couple of more stores. We decided to head to the airport early and took the last dangerous cab ride to there. Got to the airport and went to check in and turns out our suitcase was 7 lbs over the limit. Good thing I had bought that bag on the street corner. I managed to fit 9 lbs into it, lol. Got checked in and grabbed a bite at the airport Chili’s. We went to our gate to wait on our plane and we waited. The plane got there 50 mins after we were supposed to leave. While we were waiting, I asked the man at the desk if we were going to miss our connector flight and if so, what could we do? He said that if the plane came at the time it was supposed to as of that time, we would have seven mins at Detroit to get from one gate in one building to another gate in another building. I looked at the guy and said “Seven minutes? Dude, I am way too fat to run that fast!” He cracked up and said, “They’ll know you’re coming” my comment was “yeah, they’ll hear me wheezing before I get there.”
The flight from LaGuardia to Detroit was nice, newer plane with comfortable seats. The one attendant was hilarious though. He was, um, how do I say this? Well, he fit the stereotype that used to be out there for gay. Not saying this in a bad way, he was a sweetie, just accurate. There was one chick that kept getting up after he would say to stay in our seats. (I had to pee at one point and asked the female attendant if I could go to the lavatory; she said yeah. I get back there and the male attendant is back there going “You’re out of your seat, Delta assumes no responsibility if we hit turbulence and you hit your head. I told him that was fine; no one would notice a difference in me anyhow. He kept trying to give me all the legalese, I kept giving him crap.) He was cracking up. The final time, as we began descending, she gets up and is messing in the overhead when you hear the intercom click on and the attendant’s voice going “I’m gonna get you” but with this great southern accent, lol. Everyone in the plane cracked up laughing! We ended up missing our connector in Detroit and had to spend the night at a hotel there. I cracked up at the guy at the desk, he was a sweet older guy who said “I’m gonna put the two of you in the Jacuzzi suite” and then gives us this dirty old man wink. I was so tired by then, it was so absurd, and I just lost it. We grabbed a bite in the hotel lounge (it had been 10 hours since we’d had anything more than peanuts) and went to the room. Got up the next morning to thunderstorms… great. By the time the plane got there, the storm had let up and in pulls our plane…from 1956. The frickin’ thing had propellers!!! We took off and, let me tell you, this was the scariest plane ride of my life! The damn thing shook, bumped, made noises like pieces were falling off. Hell, we didn’t descend, we dropped a few hundred feet every couple of seconds! I almost kissed the ground when we landed.
Made it home with our loud muffler, which turns out the tail pipe had been separated from the muffler, cost $50 to fix, which is good, a new muffler for our van costs $500, that’s just the muffler, not the labor!
Fair warning, this is massively long!
Let’s start this at the beginning, which, by the way, I’ve often found it a convenient place to start a story. We left out of Defiance about 3 a.m. Tuesday morning. Not a lot of traffic on 24 at that time, which is nice, but of course we got the one semi that refused to pass and rode our ass for a while there. We get about 5 miles away from the 295 turnoff, just toolin’ along, I just found a good radio station, Joe’s cussing out the afore mentioned semi and as we round a curve, there’s something in the middle of the lane…it’s a big doe, a dead one, and by the time we realized it, we couldn’t miss it. So yes, we hit a dead deer, which did something to my muffler, and now it’s LOUD! Get to the airport without any more random dead animals lying in the road.
After waiting for the security checkpoint to open, which at Toledo, does not happen until 5 a.m., we get through without too much problem, little trouble with my laptop bag (which, in actuality is just a tote bag) but nothing major. We have a nice quick flight from Toledo to Detroit…and I mean quick. We got in the air (it constantly amazes me just how religious I become during take off in a plane); the attendant gave us our cookies and water, cleaned up and said we were descending into Detroit. Wait, what? I didn’t even get to open my book! Once in Detroit, we headed over to the other terminal to the other gate. We were taking those walking escalators (or whatever they’re called) and I wasn’t paying attention, got to the end and just about landed flat on my face. Joe was laughing at me along with a few other people. Found our gate, and then found the restaurant we could smoke. Hung out there had some coffee and cigs. Flight to New York was uneventful, nothing spectacular.
Got into LaGuardia, got our luggage and then came the joy of figuring out how we were going to get to the hotel. I will admit, I was checking out all the drivers carrying signs with people’s names on them in the hopes of maybe the publicist ordered one, but no. Oh well, we head outside towards the taxi stand and a guy approaches us saying he’ll take us in his limo for $45 flat, tolls included. We just said ‘k, cause it was easier. He took us to the limo, started it up and said he’d be back in like five minutes. He was, with a family from Ft. Lauderdale. They were nice people and fun to talk with, so I ended up missing the sights during the ride into Manhattan. Got to the hotel, got out in the back (or maybe it’s the front, it’s where the doorman was anyhow) and went inside. Big hallway, only a bellboy/security desk there that confused me a bit. We had to take the elevator up 22 stories to the hotel. The lobby was nice, had a bar in it and the breakfast area. When we checked in, the guy at the desk, (the awesome Will) said we needed a credit card for deposit on incidentals. A $200 deposit. $200, really? What the hell am I gonna spend $200 on in the hotel in two days? So, I hand him my debit card, sign the paperwork, and we head up to the room. As soon as we walk in, the phone is ringing. It’s Will; my debit card wouldn’t go through. Crap. We go down to the front desk and try my other debit card; it’s a no-go, as my boss hadn’t deposited my check yet. Shit. I was tired and starting to worry. Well, the awesome Will talks to his general manager and gets him to agree to hang on to the $500 AmEx gift card until there’s money in my account. Needless to say, a few frantic phone calls later and there was the money. While we waited, we went to the three story McDonald’s and grabbed a bite of lunch. Yes, three stories and LOUD music playing. (I cannot believe there was a time I liked my music louder than that. Um, when did I get old?)
Joe decided to hang out at the hotel and take a nap while I was gone for my hair appointment at 3:00 pm. I had the doorman get me a taxi, gave the guy the address and he got me to the street and the right block but he couldn’t find the storefront. Turns out the salon was upstairs. I go up, tell the man at the desk my name and he tells me to put a gown on. So I put on a polyester gown that I have come to realize I am allergic too (everywhere it touched bare skin, I rashed out.) I go back to the desk and he says he cannot find my reservation. I gave him my printout from my email and he tells me not to worry, I’ll get my shampoo, cut and blowout and shows me to a seat to wait. While I’m waiting, I look around and notice there are at least 25 chairs and almost all of them are full. Finally the guy comes back (I think it was Oscar himself, but who the hell knows) and says they found my reservation and Maria will be doing my hair. They seat me in a chair; she comes over and looks over my hair. After being properly horrified with my hair, she sends me off to get it shampooed. That was the best part! The woman who did it almost put me to sleep, it felt so wonderful. Well, Maria’s clipping away at my hair and we chatted (she’s a sweetheart), but she was upset they did not include coloring in my prize pack. She asked me if I would be willing to pay a little extra to get it colored. I asked how much a little extra is, she said “A little over $200.” I laughed and said “No.” Yeah, I have $200 to drop on hair color. Hell, I had a coupon in my purse for a free thing of Revlon color and we were right down the block from Walgreen’s if I wanted it colored that badly. I didn’t. After she cut my hair, she decided she’d blow it dry straight ‘for something a little different.’ I told her to knock herself out, what I didn’t tell her was almost every stylist hates curly hair and wants to straighten my hair when I get it done, “for something a little different.” When she got all done, I thanked her and got the hell outta dodge. Got outside, with my rapidly going back to curly hair, and was totally intimidated by everything. I had no idea how to get a cab, so I called Joe and whined to him for the next five blocks. I end up at the Plaza hotel and found a cab. I asked the driver if he’d take me back to my hotel. Dude looks at me and says, “The traffic’s already bad.” All I could say was, “Is that a no then?” He told me to get in and took me back to the hotel. May I just say everything they say and show on TV, movies, etc does NOT live up to just how scary it is to ride in a NYC cab?
Got back to the hotel and Joe said he talked to the doorman who recommend a reasonably priced place for supper. We headed out trying to find it and were having no luck, so we asked a cop who pretty much said, “How the hell do I know? Go away freakin’ tourists.” Finally found the diner and a reasonably priced dinner there is $70! But the food was great and there was a ton of it! Plus the house beer rocked. Spent the rest of the evening wandering around Times Square. We went to the Toys ‘R Us, gigantic Hershey’s Store, M-n-M World, 3 stories Walgreen’s, and various other stores. As we were headed back to the hotel, we saw a bunch of people and cameras in the middle of Times Square and tons of people standing around watching. I asked someone what was going on and she said they were filming scenes from a Tina Fey movie. So, we got to say we watched them film a Hollywood movie… kinda, we couldn’t really see anything. We were back to the hotel and in bed by 10:30. I remember thinking I’ll never fall asleep that early. Next thing I know, it was 6:55 am, lol.
Wednesday was nice. Fortunately, the breakfast buffet was included in our room, otherwise it would’ve cost us $52 to eat it, and it was nothing spectacular, you’re basic hot breakfast. My appointment with the stylist was schedule for 1:00 pm, so we decided to start walking and check things out. We went down to Grand Central (after stopping at a Sephora store where I got a new tube of Stila mascara and an eye shadow quad. I love Stila makeup!) and it was cool! We found the market and got some yummy looking focaccia bread and some decadent desserts (you know, the kind that puts 10 lbs. on you when you only look at it). We wandered on around the expensive area there and window-shopped. Stopped at this fabulous little diner for lunch (it was much more reasonably priced than the one the night before). Then it was time for the stylist.
We head off to The Avenue where I’m to meet with Jenn Falik. Ok, for those of you that don’t know, The Avenue is a plus sized clothing store, so it should’ve been easy for me to pick out Jenn, she’s thin. I see two women waiting by the front door and they ask me if I’m me. I admit to it and it turns out it was Jenn and her assistant (who’s name I cannot remember, I’m so sorry.) who asked me basically what I like, what I wear, and what I need. Then I became overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, they were just grabbing clothing and saying “We’ll pair this with that and that with this.” I was just nodding my head going “You bring it to the dressing room and I’ll try it on.” I tried on, what seemed to me, like 20,000 pieces of clothing, but those who know me know I don’t often try clothing on (which bites me in the ass sometimes). When all was said and done, I walked out of there with $364 worth of clothing. Now Jenn and her assistant were two of the nicest people I have met, funny as all get out and so down to earth. I really enjoyed my time with them. After we were done at the store, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for dinner at STK. Once we got back to the hotel, I started showing Joe the clothes and he asked me “Ok, now that you got it, what are you actually going to wear?” Ooooh, damn good question. So I looked through it all and spent time thinking to myself whether or not I would really wear some of the things I got. I ended up taking back the flowered shirt in the pics, the tank tops (spaghetti straps and no built in bra), both shoes (I liked the black ones, but there was an elastic strap across the ankle that just didn’t fit in with the patent leather of the rest of the shoe), a dress (it was ok, looked fine, but not spectacular… I kept the spectacular one) and a couple of other things. When I took them back, I ended up picking up a couple of tank tops. I did keep the most comfortable capris (denim and knit) and some cute tops.
Went back to the hotel and got around for dinner. Now, for any of you reading this who don’t want to know about my underwear, stop reading now, I’ll let you know when it’s ok to read again. I decided to wear the dress I got at the store that day, not the one I had bought just for NY. I had brought along my corset and matching panty set, put it on early to adjust to the stays in the corset, and really liked how it looked but dear god, those stays liked to kill me by the end of the night. Ok, done talking about my undies ;) Wore my sexy heels I bought for the trip…quickly wished I had worn the ones I got at The Avenue. By the time we got to the Meatpacking District, my feet hurt. Plus we got there early so we could walk around. I wanted to cry they hurt so badly. I could only take steps about this long. We ended up walking four blocks until we found a drugstore where I could pick up a pair of flip-flops and I hate flip-flops! We made it back to the restaurant, I shoved my flip-flops in my clutch, and put my heels back on, that was fun considering my feet had swollen. We go in and are seated at this small table in a rounded booth. While we are looking at the menu, I order some water to drink and am confounded by the question “Sparkling, still or tap water?” Choices for water? Damn! I choose still and they bring us a bottle of Fiji water, which cracked me up. Joe ordered a glass of cabernet sauvignon, ‘lil big macs”, and a steak (which he asked to be done extremely well and they came out pink), creamy Yukon potatoes (they were creamy to the point of soup with butter just pooling in them) and sweet corn pudding (corn casserole). He didn’t like the l’il big macs, wagyu beef done medium, I thought they rocked. He liked everything else. I got a Nojito (can’t taste the alcohol…they’re dangerous) hearts of romaine, that cracked me up, it was five or six whole romaine leaves with a little thing of dressing in each corner, shaved parmesan cheese on it and four croutons. $13 and I gotta cut up my own lettuce, lol. I also got Shrimp Rice Krispies that snap, crackled, and popped when they poured the bisque over the shrimp and rice, but the shrimp was so strong you couldn’t taste anything for the smell. I also got a steak (I don’t mind mine being pink) mac & cheese… yum! and parmesan truffle fries, which I could live on for the rest of my life. The food was so good, but so rich, we couldn’t eat all that was on our plates, it was just too much. The poor waitress kept checking on us; asking if everything was ok and we’re like “Yeah, it’s great!” She ends up bringing us each a glass of champagne and said “STK wanted to give it to us.” We sure as hell didn’t turn it down. I ordered a cup of coffee and Joe got another glass of wine to go with our desserts. As we’re sitting there it struck me why she gave us the free champagne, she thought we didn’t like the food. I leaned over to Joe and told him that’s why. I said the waitress was freaking out wondering why the fat chick ain’t eating. We were wondering how we were gonna spend $300 on dinner, it ended up coming to $264 and we told the waitress to keep the rest of the money on the gift card as her tip. STK was a nice restaurant, but it’s definitely a place to see and be seen, as it’s not conducive to conversation. The music was so loud and there were so many other customers you just couldn’t hear yourself think. I was having fun people watching anyhow, especially the double mint twins who sat at a booth across from us and I swear if the one had sneezed, her little dress would’ve popped up and down at the same time. After supper, I went to the bathroom, changed back into my flip-flops and we caught a cab back to the hotel. We changed and wandered Times Square for a while and I bought myself a “designer” bag off a street corner, lol. Went back to the hotel and went to bed.
Thursday, our last day in NYC. Thank god. We got up had breakfast, returned the clothes and the heavens decided to open up. We ran across the street and got some umbrellas, t-shirts for the boys, and random other souvenirs for family. Walked back to the hotel and got thoroughly drenched in the process. I was wearing a pair of my new denim capris which the dye hadn’t set, so went I went potty back at the hotel, my thighs were blue, lol. We packed up the suitcase, left it with the hotel while we grabbed some lunch at McDonald’s again, and wandered a couple of more stores. We decided to head to the airport early and took the last dangerous cab ride to there. Got to the airport and went to check in and turns out our suitcase was 7 lbs over the limit. Good thing I had bought that bag on the street corner. I managed to fit 9 lbs into it, lol. Got checked in and grabbed a bite at the airport Chili’s. We went to our gate to wait on our plane and we waited. The plane got there 50 mins after we were supposed to leave. While we were waiting, I asked the man at the desk if we were going to miss our connector flight and if so, what could we do? He said that if the plane came at the time it was supposed to as of that time, we would have seven mins at Detroit to get from one gate in one building to another gate in another building. I looked at the guy and said “Seven minutes? Dude, I am way too fat to run that fast!” He cracked up and said, “They’ll know you’re coming” my comment was “yeah, they’ll hear me wheezing before I get there.”
The flight from LaGuardia to Detroit was nice, newer plane with comfortable seats. The one attendant was hilarious though. He was, um, how do I say this? Well, he fit the stereotype that used to be out there for gay. Not saying this in a bad way, he was a sweetie, just accurate. There was one chick that kept getting up after he would say to stay in our seats. (I had to pee at one point and asked the female attendant if I could go to the lavatory; she said yeah. I get back there and the male attendant is back there going “You’re out of your seat, Delta assumes no responsibility if we hit turbulence and you hit your head. I told him that was fine; no one would notice a difference in me anyhow. He kept trying to give me all the legalese, I kept giving him crap.) He was cracking up. The final time, as we began descending, she gets up and is messing in the overhead when you hear the intercom click on and the attendant’s voice going “I’m gonna get you” but with this great southern accent, lol. Everyone in the plane cracked up laughing! We ended up missing our connector in Detroit and had to spend the night at a hotel there. I cracked up at the guy at the desk, he was a sweet older guy who said “I’m gonna put the two of you in the Jacuzzi suite” and then gives us this dirty old man wink. I was so tired by then, it was so absurd, and I just lost it. We grabbed a bite in the hotel lounge (it had been 10 hours since we’d had anything more than peanuts) and went to the room. Got up the next morning to thunderstorms… great. By the time the plane got there, the storm had let up and in pulls our plane…from 1956. The frickin’ thing had propellers!!! We took off and, let me tell you, this was the scariest plane ride of my life! The damn thing shook, bumped, made noises like pieces were falling off. Hell, we didn’t descend, we dropped a few hundred feet every couple of seconds! I almost kissed the ground when we landed.
Made it home with our loud muffler, which turns out the tail pipe had been separated from the muffler, cost $50 to fix, which is good, a new muffler for our van costs $500, that’s just the muffler, not the labor!
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